A CALLING TO TRANSFORM AND MORPH MY BODY AND MIND INTO THE NEW ME:
Last summer, I found myself in a ‘system shut down’ and deep plunge into one of my ‘darker nights of the soul’. I had allowed myself to take on more than I could handle and for too long. The way I was living my life and calling, although so very beautiful and contributory to the lives of others, had become unsustainable for me!
Within my despair, I was able to finally identify a false belief that opened the door to meeting Kutira and beginning my body-mind morphing journey. I discovered that, hidden from my conscious awareness was a belief that MY NEEDS DON’T MATTER.
With the impetus of desire to bring light into the darkness of depression and aided with this understanding, I began to take actions to prove to myself that MY NEEDS DO MATTER, beginning with a vacation in Maui! I am writing this journal entry from the deck of a bamboo temple. Kutira shared her excitement about her personal body mind morphing journey and I knew the Universe was showing me my next step.
MY COMMITMENT
One morning, during my vacation in Maui, I woke up knowing there was a specific place somewhere on the island where I was to perform a simple ritual… a prayer of intention to GO ALL THE WAY, to participate in the fullest activation of my gifts and powers and manifestation of life purpose that is possible for me in this lifetime. It took several hours to find, but when I saw it. I knew. …. a large heart created by many stones overlooking the sea, that I could sit inside and offer make this vow. Going all the way includes developing a more loving and attentive relationship with myself and my body.
MY WHY
As I prepared to begin this transformation journey, it felt important to deeply attune to the soul motivation that will carry me through to true and lasting liberation and a new way of being. After deep contemplation about my ‘why’ and all that it represents, I created this painting to symbolize my heart’s desire and to use as a daily reminder of my vow to actualize self-love. Arising from darkness, a sparkling gold heart surrounded by luscious pink petals of blessing awakens.
MANTRA FOR THIS JOURNEY
Desire for and a feeling of failure about my unsuccessful efforts to remain consistent with physical self care and TRANSFORM my body has been going on in the background of my focus for my entire adult life. How can I be powerful, truly powerful and able to manifest dreams, if I can’t do it for myself?
I realized that, regardless of the success and fulfillment I’ve experienced in other areas of my life, the fact that I had been unable to manifest my ‘natural body ‘ had constantly diminished my sense of empowerment to manifest my full potential in many other areas of my life. This realization gave birth to my BBM mantra:
As I tenderly care for and TRANSFORM MY BODY, I simultaneously, fully, and radiantly embody my POWER to bring heaven to earth.
WHY PAINTING
On the road to psychologically prepare to begin Phase 1 HCG, I tuning into my ‘WHY’, the power behind my intention to complete the transformation of my physical body that I have always secretly longed for, through the morphing of whatever beliefs and behaviors will be needed to support this intention.
I created a ‘WHY’ mandala painting to use as a visual symbol and focusing aid for the journey ahead. The pink flower of self-love emerges from a very dark place… a place of deep despair, powerlessness and limiting belief. I am morphing my body and mind to express the deeper truth about my essential value, power and beauty through the golden healing energy and actions of loving-me.
The Gift of a BMM Coach!!!!!!
It is a tremendous gift to be in creative collaboration with Kutira as I begin this journey… to have a coach and guide for the journey, to receive support through the uncertainties, emotions, challenges, as well as to celebrate the successes and liberating realizations along the way.
The BBM morphing state is a deep invitation to clearing on so many levels. It feels amazing to know I gave myself this gift.
PHASE ONE: A BEAUTIFUL PLATE
To encourage myself to live within the diet structure of Phase One, I purchased a special plate to honor the beauty of this gift to myself. At this point on my journey, I’ve cooked healthy organic food for myself 2 times a day and have already lost 10 lbs. If you knew me, you would understand that cooking for ME with this consistency is a MIRACLE and it’s been easy!!!
My destination…? FULLY ECSTATIC BODY.
PHASE 1: FULL SPECTRUM PURIFICATION AND LIGHTENING UP
Journal entry: It is a huge relief to be here now and to have a structure of support to contain the self development necessary to do this transformation and to be completely successful on all levels of being and for the rest of this lifetime and beyond.
- CREATE FILES BOXES AND PURGE UNNEEDED PAPER
- ORGANIZE OFFICE AND BOOK SHELVES
- GO THROUGH KITCHEN AND PANTRY AND GET RID OF OLD FOOD
- GO THROUGH CLOTHES, ORGANIZE AND LET GO OF LARGE CLOTHING
- CONTINUE GOING THROUGH AREAS OF THE HOUSE AND CLEARING CLUTTER –SIMPLIFYING
- GO THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS AND CLEAR OUT OLD ENERGY-REPLACE WITH LOVE
The resistance to taking the time to do all this space clearing is deep… this false belief sources back to: MY NEEDS DON’T MATTER BECAUSE I DON’T MATTER. I’ve been aware of and working to transform this one for months now. I MATTER! I MATTER TO ME AND MANY OTHERS INCLUDING LIFE ITSELF.
GUIDED JOURNEY: MOLDING THE NEW FORM
Journal Entry: Today my BMM coach, Kutira, took me on the most incredible guided inner journey! To begin, she called the women who love and support me (past, present and future) to come into my home and find a place somewhere, on the couch, in the kitchen, even lying on my bed. With every breath she called in another supportive, empowering wise woman. She then invited me to call in goddesses to join the circle of love and support. At one point in the meditation she asked them all to surround and put out their hands to help mold my body and being into its new shape and vibration. This was very, very powerful. Tears come when remembering….
…..to be continued
